Tuesday, February 22, 2011

England Match Report #1: Netherlands (England win the Ashes)

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After getting into legal trouble with the BCCI for faking a report and attributing it to Harbhajan Singh, we are now forced not to reveal the real names of celebrities when we produce fake reports using their names

Today's report is submitted by "The Real Darren Gough". Its a fake name and if the fake name hints references to any living, intelligent human, then we can produce quotes made by Darren Gough to prove our case.

The Real Darren Gough reports...

In front of a largely disinterested crowd of 23 people in Orange country, England today began their warm up for a utterly meaningless World cup by allowing Netherlands to bat the entire 50 overs. I am not sure how many runs they eventually scored but it should be in excess of 290.

Someone whose name sounds remotely like Tendoolkar, scored a century for the men in orange. England bowled with as much lethargy as a game like this deserves and used their fielding to provide comical relief to keep the crowd occasionally interedted

England, as you may recall are holders of the Ashes. They successfully defended the ashes a few months earlier by defeating Australia 3-1 The only blip in England's campaign was at Perth while they won Test matches in Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney.

Later in the summer they will beat India; every day of the week; even though you can really have a result once every 5 days.

Even if England are to lose today and lose every game in this World cup. They will still get to keep the Ashes. What a waste of money, energy and resources for nothing.

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