Thursday, February 10, 2011

What If...

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Perhaps this is one of the most "open" world cups in a long time. Thanks to the Ashes defeat of Australia. So instead of picking favorites, we said lets envision a "What if..." for each team

So here goes.

What if

...England win the World Cup
Bombay will be treated to the Bhangra version of the sprinkler dance. Shirtless. The headlines back home will be "England retain the Ashes". Likelihood of England winning: Very unlikely

...Australia win the World Cup
We will know exactly what the Egyptian protesters are feeling. The headlines all over will be "Michael Hussey fit for the IPL". Likelihood of Australia winning: Very likely

...Sri Lanka win the World Cup
Technically, it will be the second time a host nation wins the World Cup. The jinx of a host nation never winning the World Cup will be kept alive. The headline in Australia will be "Murali chucks Austrlia's reign as champions". Likelihood of Sri Lanka winning: Likely

...South Africa win the World Cup
Clint Eastwood will direct a movie "Chokes of our Fathers". A story of how Jacob Zuma inspired Greame Smith to overcome a team torn apart by affirmative action; to prove a negative. That the Proteas are chokers no more. Likelihood of South Africa not choking: Very likely

...India win the World Cup
Sachin Tendulkar will say...well you guessed it... "It was just another win". Gary Kirsten will receive the Bharat Ratna and we will need 20 computer screens side-by-side to read the headlines on Times of India. Likelihood of India winning: Somewhat likely

...Pakistan win the World Cup
Shahid Afridi will show Imran Khan how it is done. The victory speech I mean. The headlines in India will be "Bombay burns as Pakistan celebrate". Likelihood of Pakistan winning: Somewhat likely

...Bangladesh win the World Cup
We will have an even longer world cup in 2015. Each knock out phase will be a best of 7 ODI series. All to ensure that the most marketable teams have infinite chances to win the World Cup. Likelihood of Bangladesh winning: Very unlikely

...New Zealand win the World Cup
Refer to Bangladesh

...West Indies win the World Cup
India will do to the West Indies what Clive Lloyd did to them in 1984. Likelihood of West Indies winning: Somewhat likely

...Zimbabwe win the World Cup
Will fast track the death of the 50 over game. It will have the exact opposite effect from the 1983 world cup. 
Likelihood of Zimbabwe winning: Very unlikely

Interestingly, if any of Ireland, Kenya, Netherlands, or Canada win the World Cup, they won't get a chance to defend it in 2015. The ICC has already determined that any of these nations winning the World Cup is impossible. So who am I to assess a likelihood to that.


Unknown said...

Lol, Gol! Loved South Africa's bit! Clint Eastwood... "Chokes of our Fathers"... I am still chuckling!

Govind Raj said...

Wow !