Thursday, May 16, 2013

BCCI teams up with Google to legalize match-fixing

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If you think BCCI's continued opposition to the DRS; in spite of Sachin Tendulkar benefiting from it;  is exasperating then wait to be exasperated even more...

...Word is that the BCCI is now going all out in opposing the ICC's ACU.

Yes, the Anti Corruption Unit.

"Anti Corruption Technology is not fool proof yet and we believe we should not push for solutions until we have all the right technical elements to prevent corruption" said the BCCI President Shashank Manohar. He further added, "It is BCCI's strategy to address corruption head on in an innovative way".

"We will make match fixing legal" he proclaimed.

Taking a dig at the ICC he said "Unlike the DRS and ACU, our approach has the necessary technology to enable its success", he said introducing Larry Page, CEO of Google Inc.

In a marketing event that had even executives from Apple, sit up and take notice, Shashank Manohar teamed up with Larry Page to unveil Google's new "Fix" Platform.

The "Google Fix", is a never before attempted integration of social networking, sports betting and auction functions, exclusively for bookies, players and gamblers that allows bookies to take bets from gamblers, securely communicate with players to negotiate a "fix" via an auction, and allows gamblers to get real time updates on which fixes are "on" before they make bets with bookies.

"Becoming a bookie, now is no longer just for the privileged few" said Larry Page. "I am told that in India, it is every underworld Don's dream to grow up and influence the outcome of cricket matches. Now, any underworld dude with an internet connection and a few Facebook friends can become a bookie and earn a few bucks. There cannot be a finer example of how technology can empower the common criminal than this" he added as he demonstrated the bookie related functionality of the "Google Fix" platform on the "dabba phone".

Shashank Manohar added, "The beauty of the platform is that it allows players to made additional pocket money. Something that was the purview only a few unethical, greedy and amoral cricketers with links to the shady agents, IPL cheerleaders and the underworld. We recognize that not everyone wants to be Shahid Arfidi. Some may want to follow the ideals of Mohammed Azharuddin or Manoj Prabhakar or even Saleem Malik, and we are simply providing these young men tools and technology needed to follow the dreams of their choice. For such players the "Google Fix" platform allows them to auction a variety of inside information to the highest bidder. What's more, players can also  search and accept 'a fix' if the price is to their liking. The more the number of players who want to guarantee the 'fix', the lesser is the cost of the 'fix' to the bookie. The match fixing economics is going to redefine pricing in the market place like never before".

"We essentially want to make match fixing a commodity service" Mr. Manohar added, sounding like Mr. Manmohan Singh.

During the press conference that followed the marketing event, a reporter asked if this is legal in India. After all gambling is banned in India. Mr. Manohar's response to that was elaborate and he seemed to have anticipated the question.

He went on to explain how match fixing is not gambling and that its a service delivered by players to perform pre-agreed acts. "Its as illegal as Salman Khan removing his shirt on screen. Paying money to see an event everyone knows is going to happen is not illegal. If that's illegal than all of Amitabh Bacchan's drunken scenes are illegal, I say".

He went on to explain how all money transactions will be processed and settled though a payment provider and all income will be reported and taxed.

"Every one will benefit from this", he added.

Finally Larry Page, ended the press conference by saying, "We are committed to Google's culture of "Do no evil" by legalizing all evil that is associated with cricket".

A recent story on match fixing in Sports Illustrated India suggested that India should legalize gambling. By making match fixing it self legal, the BCCI and Google have collaborated to find an innovative way to keep everyone happy.

1 comment:

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