Tuesday, May 28, 2013

IPL 6 - A Cynics Review

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Here we offer a complete review of the IPL season 6... 
Let the obscenities begin...
That's how we kicked off our cynical attempts at mocking the IPL (and Sachin). Neither disappointed. Sachin has truly reduced himself to a lovable comic hero and the IPL lived up to its promises of obscenities; although a murder or a drug charge would have really helped its image. Failing that; the scandals we got were juicy enough but pretty much in line with what the world expected the IPL to be.

The new controversies failed to break new ground.

However the promise is there. There is no limit to what one can expect to happen in the IPL a few years from now

CSK admit, they have made a strategic blunder. Its the West Indians and not the Sri Lankans who hurt their sentiments
While it may be true that the Sri Lankans have hurt the sentiments of the good people of the State of Tamil Nadu, West Indian Pollard, playing for the Mumbai Indians plucked a catch off Dhoni at deep mid-wicket to deny CSK a win in the early match up between the 2 sides.

To the immense maturity and restraint of N Srinivasan, he allowed West Indians to continue to visit and play in Tamil Nadu, even when there was conclusive proof that West Indians like Pollard are likely to help their teams win games against Chennai.

Opinions Predicts what Wasim-bhai will not say: Bowlers in the IPL are getting easy wickets because of Sachin
Wasim Akram as the Pakistani bowling coach commented that batsman are getting easy runs because they don't get to face the fearsome Pakistanis. Reality was bowlers were getting easy wickets because of Sachin and by the middle of the tournament they weren't even bothering to celebrate his wicket.

John Mooney clarifies: His 'slow and painful' tweet was meant for Sachin's trudge towards retirement.
John Mooney, the Irish cricketer observed on twitter that Sachin's trudge towards retirement was "slow and painful". The media misunderstood his comments entirely and twisted his words. They linked it to the death of Britan's Iron Lady. They said he was hoping her death was "slow and painful".

Things the media cooks up...

And the IPL meandered on...obsessed with it self and Sachin's 40th birthday. A 40 lb cake cutting ceremony to take the obscenities to the next level.

And then came the main event of the season.

The spot fixing scandal...

Have you heard of an actor charged for cheating because he spoke his lines from a different script?
 To prove that the IPL matches are unscripted games is a stretch. I have nothing against the format. T20 is a great format but the whole IPL setup is fishy. I don't worry too much about the 'conflict of interest' because firstly it is too obvious to be true and secondly there is no proof that that either the IPL or the BCCI have any interest in the game of cricket. 

Given the level of interest in the game across the country, given the existence of illegal betting in India and given how opaque the BCCI is in its operations, one cannot but assume; as extension; that the league is ripe for corruption. 

Many are worried about the "credibility of the IPL". I wouldn't bother. There are many things the IPL has gotten right about the IPL; like not bothering to establish any sort of credibility with its customer base. You can't lose something you never built. And you don't need to build something for the sake of building it, when you know the money will flow in anyhow
There is no onus on the BCCI to clean up anything. Why fix anything that ain't broke. From their perspective, nothing is broken. People still watch the IPL games. I do. Sponsors have not threatened to pull out because they know that you and me will watch anyhow. India's players have already resigned to their roles as entertainers, so they have virtually even less of a voice than I have on Indian cricket. They are trained from a young age to not speak their minds.

The IPL and the BCCI have proven that "credibility" is over rated. 

Of all the fishy things that have been allegedly happening in the IPL; the fishiest smelling is Vivian Richards saying Virat Kohli reminds him of himself. Investigate that I say...
Not for a minute I believe Richards feels that. A country obsessed with seeking validation of its cricketers from foreign greats is in search of the next Sachin. Richards is the new Bradman.

Then the IPL climaxed with the greatest joke of all..

Opinions Breaking News: N. Srinivasan to set up a committee to investigate who won the IPL
I mean how difficult is it to ascertain who is the owner of an asset? Any asset. Is the BCCI franchise operation so vague that to determine the owner of a franchise is not a routine exercise of pulling up the CSK file in a BCCI office and reading out whose name there is on the "owner" line? Why do you need a committee for that? 

And if; and this is a big if; the committee indeed has the freedom to report what is true and it does ascertain the Gurunath is the owner of CSK what is stopping N Srinivasan to propose another committee to investigate the findings of this committee.

I once laughed at the PCB and Ijaz Butt. I owe them an apology. I am sorry. Our guys are just as hilarious as yours. 

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