Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Man dies due to overdose of reading Sachin Tributes

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A 42 year old man, in otherwise good health, has died at a local Bombay hospital due to what medical experts agree was an overdose of reading "Sachin Tendulkar tributes"

The man, like 150% of all Indians, was a cricket fan and a one time admirer of Sachin Tendulkar.

Very little is known of this condition, but some experts have suggested that in certain rare conditions, men lack the immunity and are unable, to withstand the stress resulting from reading saccharine sweet articles of tribute about celebrities they have lost respect for. In such men, their sugar levels rise to amounts that can lead to stroke, temporary blindness and in some cases result in death. 

Health authorities fear that there will be an epidemic of sorts with the country preparing itself for life after Sachin Tendulkar's retirement by publishing article after article on Sachin Tendulkar's greatness. Research suggests most of the youngsters under 35 and older generation 50 and above are so far immune to this condition.

It is the 35 to 50 years olds who have been subjected to decades of Sachin worship that are most at risk. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, developing a liking for team sports, and limiting visits to cricket related sites are recommended by most doctors to dodge this condition.

The man who died, doctors say after extensive interviews with family members, first began to show signs of weakened immunity to Sachin praise around 2004. 

"Around the time Sachin scored a double hundred in Sydney without a single cover drive, my husband started getting irritated every time someone unconditionally praised Sachin", said his wife. "It was the death of Sachin as an attacking batman, he would say" she added

His son said, "Before 2004, I loved my dad. All it took for him to be happy was that Sachin put up a good fight. After the Sydney 2004, something died in him. My dad was never the same man again"

One of his friends even recollected an incident at a pub where after reading a routine article on Sachin Tendulkar's greatness on his friends mobile phone, the now deceased man, complained of blindness. Sachin had just skipped the West Indies tour for the IPL and we now know that the lowered immunity led to a sudden increase of blood sugar levels that temporarily blinded the man.

Doctors suggest that the best way to handle symptoms of this disease is to sit the patient down and indulge in some realistic assessment of Sachin Tendulkar's career. Sadly there are very few people who can do that so its best, doctors add, to let the patient die.

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