Friday, December 7, 2012

Harvard University announces new course for the study of Sachin's Retirement

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The Nieman Foundation for Journalism at Harvard University has just announced a new one-year Masters degree in Journalism to begin in Fall 2013 solely dedicated to the study of Sachin Tendulkar's retirement. The department of Labor Statistics, in a just released report had estimated a severe need for journalists that can cover the field of Sachin's retirement. The report said that by the year 2030 the world's print and online media combined, would need 10,000 journalists who can cover the fast growing field.

The program will be offered by the prestigious university beginning the Fall of 2013

The Harvard University Program seeks to create graduates who can achieve the following

  1. Present both sides of the view of why Sachin Tendulkar should not retire
  2. Apply Bollywood's tactic of producing mediocre movies under the garb of 'escapist cinema' to Sachin Tendulkar's situation...he is the hope of a nation, he makes people happy, etc, etc and such emotional nonsense
  3. Use of Satsguru to analyze Sachin Tendulkar's slumps to show how each of them have been temporary
  4. Argue endlessly about each of his bowled dismissals to hide his obvious struggles against the balls he manages to survive
  5. How to get artificially excited each time he breaks his own record
  6. To research, discover, unearth, manufacture new records from existing performances that can never be surpassed by Cook, Amla, etc
  7. To deal with emerging trends in arguments that favor his retirement and devise opinions to reject them

As course Prerequisites, a degree in cheer leading is a must


Anonymous said...

Meanwhile, in India, a Sachin-hate-obsessed blogger went mad blaming Sachin for everything from the tap at his house not functioning to his breakfast toast being excessively burnt

Golandaaz said...

Anon, had sachin retired, the blogger in question would not have gotten angry and smashed the tap while forgetting that the toast was in the toaster

Anonymous said...

They can provide a by-fielder for him, by-runner, and also a wheelchair for him to come to bat when he gets old.

price per head service said...

seriously???? I cannot believe that the worldwide prestigious Harvard University will have this kind of peculiar course, I gotta google it right now!