Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Announcing Australia's tour of South Africa

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Cricket South Africa and Cricket Australia, today held a joint press conference; to announce the itinerary for Australia's full tour of South Africa. A rivalry running over a 100 years of Test Cricket always draws attention.

We bring you the details of the announcement...

The tour includes 3 ODIs, 2 T20 Internationals, 5 games of book cricket, a 7 game series of Tip-and-Run cricket and 3/5ths of a Test Match.

Australia's proposal of OneBounceOut cricket was rejected after careful consideration.Ricky Ponting wasn't sure why this is considered a "new format". He said he is happy the way things are.

The announcement also reiterated CSA's commitment to the 3-test series by saying that the result of the series will only be announced in 2057 by when the 2 countries would have accumulated enough tours to complete a 3 test series. We have also committed to play at least 30 minutes of Test Cricket on every tour. Anything less will require approval from the BCCI.

After hearing the announcement by the CSA CEO, the press room did not quite know if this was a joke.

One English reporter, who later revealed that he was also a talent scout employed by the ECB, was the first to attempt to ask a question while keeping a straight face.

Arent' the 2 boards missing an opportunity here? There is enough evidence backed by scientific research that men will buy any product or service that involves naked women. So while you experiment with the various formats, at the expense of Test Cricket, why not have a format which has naked ladies. Say as umpires....just for starters.

In response, Gerald Majola explained....

Two things..First we are well aware of the research and we had approval from all boards except the West Indies. When we approached them Shivnaraine Chanerpaul threatened a law suit against us. He interpreted the research to say "I, Shivnaraine Chanderpaul, is only obsessed with naked women".

We have instructed the WICB to ask Shiv to retire, Majola added

And secondly, Majola continued, in trial runs, star commentator Danny Morrison was unable to cover the game; with dummy models of course; without ejaculating.

So you see we have a few chinks to iron out before we adopt adult-themed format. We know the money is there and trust us; to find a way to tap into it, even if it means we elevate cricket to possibilities of a thriving porn market.

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