Saturday, October 8, 2011

New Rules: Batsmen can now change their sex at the crease

Best Blog Tips

The ICC have today announced new rules that require the fielding side; in the ICC's own words; "complete, total and upfront" transparency to the batsmen at the crease.

While so far, a polite "Left arm, over the wicket...sir" was enough of an indication for a batsman to deal with a delivery, the bowlers will now have to provide a complete "specification" of the upcoming delivery or deliveries. If the delivered ball does not meet the batsman's acceptance criteria, the ball will be deemed a "No Ball", the bowler will be reprimanded, and 25% of his match fees donated to the charity... of the batsman's choice. If the offense is repeated the bowler will be banned for life.

The specifications a bowler and his captain are now required to share with the umpire and the batsmen include, the direction of the turn, angle and linear deviation, which fingers will be used to release the ball, where the shiny side will be facing, the angle at which the seam will be held, whether the ball will be delivered at normal pace or will a "slower one" be attempted, whether the ball will be a yorker, the height the ball will rise after pitching, what the bowler had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the last 2 weeks, the bowler's blood pressure, kindergarten graduating grade, hobbies outside cricket, sexual orientation, favorite movie, movie actor, favorite sexual position, favorite dish, and allergies.

Giving new meaning to "Fielding Restrictions"; the ICC also announced that before every innings a fielding captain will have to clearly indicate which fielders will be left-sided divers and which will be right-sided divers. Fielders cannot change their assigned diving sides mid-innings.

Batsman on the other hand can now be allowed sex change operations while at the crease between deliveries. Not many know that in his second successive 100 in the Champions Circus event, David Warner started his innings as a left handed batsman, switched sex to play as a right-handed handed Diane Warner and switched (sex and batting hand) back to a left-handed batsman.

The ICC said...this is legal.

No comments: