Dhoni and his hotel room

Regular people like you and me can’t even begin to comprehend, what a hotel room means to someone like a Mahendra Singh Dhoni.

Captain of the world’s number one ranked Test team.

Captain of the reigning World Champions

Captain of the reigning IPL and Champions League title holders

Superstar.

The World’s 7th or 8th whatever that number is most marketable athlete in the world.

A hotel room for Mahendra Singh Dhoni means everything. It’s a place where he can spend some moments with himself in private. As Amitabh Bacchan would say (or may be Javed Akhtar) have a conversation with his solitude. There is really no other place on this earth where he can be alone with himself.

Everywhere else he goes there are either family members or friends or players or agents or bookies or film stars or ad-men or reporters or fanatic fans or the risk of maid servants; wanting to make a few bucks by wrongly implicating him.

For someone like a Mahendra Sing Dhoni, the hotel room is a place for solace. Where he can, well of course, rest, put his feet up, put out a “Do Not Disturb” sign and sign off for the day.

Away from the madness of having to playing Test matches.

And when he has the urge to get away from it all, that’s where he goes. To his hotel room. He once had an argument with his wife over the food she cooked and Mahendra Singh Dhoni shouted…”You fortunate woman, if you don’t get me some good food, I will go to my hotel room”. He uses it as a threatening tactic.

Sadly, umpires the world over have not understood what it means to get in the way of Mahendra Singh Dhoni and his hotel room. You delay the gratification he gets from entering his hotel room and you may even lose your job. If a few wrong decisions cause Mahendra Singh Dhoni to spend a few extra hours under the sun, the price you have to pay as an umpire might be a bit too high.

And what a place his hotel room is.

It’s not your usual 7-star hotel room that we don’t stay in, unless someone else is paying for it.

It’s a place which is so private, even Google has no pictures of it. Once Mahendra Singh Dhoni turned on “location service” on his facebook and Twitter accounts from his room; and the whole internet crashed to protect Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s privacy. Not even the Prime Minster of India is allowed to send congratulatory messages to Dhoni when he is in that room. Even the most experienced, Al-Qaeda suicide bombers don't know where this place is. 

Also it is rumored that its a place where Technology and Humans coexist in harmony. Responsibilities are strictly divided and there is no adulteration of technology by human intervention. It’s a place where Technology never fails.

Everything works the way it is supposed to. Right from the toilet flushes to the Entertainment Systems, nothing fails. Not the electric shaver, not the alarm clock, not the coffee machine, not anything.

And God forbid, if it does, people lose their jobs. Mahendra Singh Dhoni makes such a ruckus that bell boys are fired, executives start looking for new jobs, managers shiver in their boots.

Stand back and salute every one - Lord Mahendra Singh Dhoni has arrived.