Monday, May 21, 2012

IPL 5 Playoff Predictions

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KKR will beat DD in the first qualifier.

Juhi Chawla will tweet that KKR should thank SRK for the win because had he not showed up, none of the cricketers would have turned up to play either.

Rahul Sharma will not give up cricket.

CSK will eliminate Mumbai Indians.

Stories about cricketers sleeping with cheer leaders will fail to shock anyone. Least of all the players' wives and girl friends.

Aamir Khan in his episode for Satyamev Jayate will expose the 'casting couch' that forces young 'budding' cricketers to perform sexual favors for franchise owners and owneresses in return for IPL contracts. Aamir asks all of us to dig deep within us to find a solution.

Kirti Azad will break his fast.

CSK will win the second qualifier

Sachin Tendulkar will appear (to celebrate 43 days and 234 seconds since his 100th 100) on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition. In blonde hair and a polka dotted male bikini. Sales of Playboy and subscriptions to porn sites among Indian males will take a hit; across the world. Sachin will say   "I am a sportsman not a bikini model, the cover photo is in recognition of my contribution to the field of sports"

Indian government issues show cause notice to IPL franchises for failure to pay adequate taxes on IPL income. The franchises, in response, will fire all the security guards and to show how seriously they take their corporate responsibility suspend the cheerleaders for 35 seconds. 

CSK will win the IPL5

Some obscure TV channel will claim "proof" that the RCB v DC game was fixed. The tape will show school kids talking about Harry Potter. 

SRK's Wankhede ban will be over turned and millions will show up at the stadium even when no match is taking place, proving Juhi Chawla was right.

1 comment:

Indian_Army said...

Try harder dude. No doubt you have atleast tried in bringing out the element of "humor". But sadly it's really very sad.

As for the first playoffs, KKR may win or lose, I am pretty much confident for DD, this time it all belongs to DD. And no doubt the die hard fans of the ever growing idiot SRK, will cheer for KKR without having realized that KKR may still have to face DD/MI/CSK all of them look in a much better shape as of now!!

Rest everything what you have written about controversies, AMIN to all of them :)