Saturday, February 26, 2011

Sri Lanka Match Report #1: Pakistan (Make room for Pakistan)



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This is a fake report submitted jointly by Real Sarfaraz Nawaz and Real Rashid Latif

Sri Lanka had done well to restrict the opposition to just 277. Considering that Malinga was not playing; obviously due to....


At this point, the authors would like to differ

Real Sarfaraz Nazaz.: There is strong evidence that five bookies had approached Kumar Sangakara, after which it was decided to rest Malinga

Real Rashid Latif: Sarfaraz is an idiot and has no clue what he is talking about. He cheated most of his wickets and his practice of reverse swing is all cheating. And he fixed matches. Only because of Imran Khan he has saved himself.

[Considering that Malinga was not playing]...restricting the opposition to 277 was commendable. The opposition batsmen played traditional one day cricket. Keeping wickets in hand they consolidated in the middle, did not panic even when quick wickets fell at the top of the order and accelerated in the end to put up a score that was always going to be beyond Sri Lanka. Each member in the batting order seemed to have been assigned a well thought out role and almost everyone stuck to it and executed it.

While chasing the Sri Lankans, lost their way to a skill-full, disciplined and well balanced attack, which took regular wickets. Again as with the batting, they did not lose patience when Sri Lanka were consolidating after losing 4 wickets at the top. The opposition team's captain was bowling good leg-spin and he led by example and willed his players to perform well, always wearing his emotions on his sleeve.

There was another fast bowler, who seemed well past his prime, but every now and then out thought the batsmen. He clean bowled 2 middle order batsmen.

At this point, the authors would like to differ


Real Sarfaraz Nazaz.: He was getting reverse swing...

Real Rashid Latif:  Sarfaraz is an idiot and has no clue what he is talking about. He cheated most of his wickets and his practice of reverse swing is all cheating. And fixed matches. Only because of Imran Khan he has saved himself.

We wish to offer our apologies to our readers. While we have clearly stated one team was Sri Lanka...

...we are sorry but we could not recognize the other team in Green.

Other similarly irrelevant match reports...

  1. India match report #1 (By Real Harbhajan Singh)
  2. England match report #1 (By Real Darren Gough)
  3. South Africa match report #1

3 comments:

Shridhar Jaju said...

Gol, if this Green team loses one of its next two matches with a spectacularly ugly performance, then we shall be able to conclude that it is Pakistan! ;-)

Golandaaz said...

SJ,

Will let Sarfaraz and Latif know :-)

JONATHAN said...

well said Mr. Shridhar