Friday, February 25, 2011

India v England: Anticipatory Revenge



Best Blog Tips



The India-England rivalry at the world cup has, over the years, produced mostly mildly existing contests, without any game really going close. England won in 1975, 1987, 1992 while India have matched it with wins in 1983, 1999 and 2003.

India, led by a great man's misplaced and unnecessary, stubbornness, never treated the 1975 game as a "contest". Knowing how Gavaskar's mind works, he perhaps saw the new format as a "white man's conspiracy" against their former colonies and chose to revolt with non-violence

But today the context has changed...as illustrated by how India's team meeting is going.


The setting is the same as before the Bangladesh game. The Indian team is keen to get in the "right frame of mind" and focus on the process that will enable them to beat England. Not that they are worried about the result; just worried about "executing the process"...

This time they have a guest Stefaan Engels...

Gary Kirsten: Boys, boys, boys...... we have a guest from Belgium. Stefaan is a marathoner. The man just recently ran 365 marathons in 365 days. I want you to spend some time with him during our practice sessions.

Virendra Sehwag: That's great coach, but I think this game is again about "revenge" in a different way. In any case, I am not interested in running 42 kms everyday.

Sreesanth rolls his eyes. But no one notices because his head his bowed and is sulking in the corner. He hasn't been talking to Sehwag since the Bangladesh win. Harbhajan sees Sreesanth sulking like a child and on the verge of tears and he brings his hands in full view and rests them on his laps. 

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: Well of course, its not about running but you can learn a lot about endurance. You keep talking about batting 50 overs, its similar to a marathon.

Virendra Sehwag: It's about "revenge" I tell you...

In a corner Zaheer Khan and Munaf Patel are watching videos on a giant LCD TV, of their bowling and in deep technical discussion about bowling actions and foot landings. 

Munaf Patel: Does this thing have Gujarati subtitles?

Virendra Sehwag: What kind of a man runs that much? And why? Even if God, himself, asks me to run 20 yards, I don't listen. You think I am going to let this Stefaan talk me into it. Plus my ribs hurt....

Ashish Nehra, interrupts the proceedings...


Ashish Nehra: Am I playing, skipper? Remember last time; before you even made your debut, how I blew away the English in Durban in a World Cup game?

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: Ashish, Well of course....


Nehra's heart begins to pump faster. Dhoni continues...

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: ...this is not a selection meeting


And Nehra sinks in his seat

Just then, Ricky Ponting walks in, searching for Sachin Tendulkar....


Ricky Ponting: Hey Sachin; really need some tips from you. I am struggling; you have some time?

Seeing Punter, Suresh Raina rushes towards where Zaheer and Munaf are and standing between Ponting and the LCD TV covers it with his hands spread. 

Sachin Tendulkar: Of course, the counselling sessions with Inzy and Sanjay not working for you?

Gary Kirsten: Ricky, can you please wait in the lobby? We have a team meeting going on here...

Sachin Tendulkar, immediately calls Sunil Gavaskar to tell him what Gary Kirsten did to a white man. Meanwhile Stefaan noticing that he is really not wanted; gets up and goes out for a run...

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: Let's get back to business....

Yuvraj Singh: We need to be careful with Swann. The rest are okay

Now its Sehwag's turn to roll his eyes....

Virendra Sehwag: We need to get into our usual "revenge" mindset. Everything else will fall into place

Yuvraj Singh: If anything, Viru, I feel England's pain. We have beaten them far too often to even think "revenge". Even in the World Cup, we have avenged our 87 and 92 losses. 

Sachin Tendulkar: I should have seen off Botham at Perth....Sheee...

Virat Kohli: Looks like its a fresh start then?

Virendra Sehwag: Shut up Virat... I am in revenge mode. And Pietersen has said I keep changing my game.... What about his own switch hitting? Huh?

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: Well of course, that's not correct. He called you a game changer. That's a compliment, or thereabouts, you know

Viru glances at Gary for confirmation and is satisfied when he sees Gary nodding in confirmation.


Virendra Sehwag: Well then, I am sure we will lose some future game to England in the World Cup and I don't want to lose tomorrow. This revenge business is really working for me....We can always take advanced revenge for a future loss..No?

Sachin Tendulkar: How about..."Its just another....."

Dhoni begins to weep....Sachin backs off and starts fiddling nervously with his bandages...Seeing Dhoni weep, Sreesanth can't hold it any longer and starts bawling. Harbhajan freezes....quickly makes sure his hands are still on his lap.


Virendra Sehwag:  How about anticipatory revenge?

Gary Kirsten ends the meeting as India and England, begin a fresh start to their World Cup rivalry.


Related Posts...


5 comments:

Govind Raj said...

Anticipatory Revenge is sensational !

Nishant said...

Or why not just seek revenge for the British Raj :P

Golandaaz said...

GR, Thanks sir.

Nishant, lets not mix cricket and politics :-)

Deep said...

What a beauty..you gave words to my thoughts, mate. Honestly, even I was looking for that revenge...to go past 334 against Poms; a revenge for 1975 game. But ah, you young fellows, may not remember the first ever game of the World cup that is most remembered for Sunny's revenge on his own team mates!! Ofcourse, we have hammered Poms enough since, but that colonial baggage on the shoulder is still very much there; more so after I have become an Aussie. Hah!! Still looking for my microgram of flesh.....

Golandaaz said...

Thanks Deep for your comments. Finally found someone a bit older than me and Vidooshak!