Virendra Sehwag's Easter Speech

In a speech that according to historians the world over is likely to have far reaching impacts, that will eventually make the world a better place to live in, Virendra Sehwag today warmed the cockles of sports traditionalists on easter weekend. In front of a crowd of an unsuspecting public he uttered the words that stunned the crowd to a prolonged silence not sure if what they heard was real.

It took a good few minutes for the crowd to first digest and react to the words uttered by the maverick opener.

The traditionalists in the crowd were the first to react. And even then all they could manage was tears rolling down their eyes in disbelief, and a sense of hope. It was as if it was God had risen from the dead to deliver a message they had been craving for.

Peter Roebuck reporting the speech in the Sydney Morning Herald wrote...

"Never before have fewer words been spoken, so simply  to heal so many in the language of the common man. It was a speech shorter than Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg address but equal in its possibilities to allow a new world to emerge, more inspirational than Kennedy's call to public service and like Martin Luther King's 'I have a dream speech' may give a new hope to those that cricket has discriminated against."

This is what Virendra Sehwag said...

I am Virendra Sehwag

Today, I wish to express my desire to quit T20 cricket and One Day Cricket to prolong my Test career. 

I suffer from a long standing degenerative mental disease that prevents me from developing the requisite intelligence to appreciate and execute the shorter versions of the game.

Thank you and have a Happy Easter 

That was it.

Immediately after the speech he called Shane Bond, Shaun Tait, Brett Lee, and Lasith Malinga and offered them words of encouragement and a caring hand over their shoulders as they bowed their heads in shame.

Harsha Bhogle writing for Cricinfo reported...

"What marks the speech as exceptional and history making is Virendra Sehwag's refusal to condemn the shorter formats. He took it on himself. He said it was a disease in him that does not allow him to appreciate the shorter versions. How could we have failed to see such divinity in him"

Reaction to the speech was quick, far, wide and largely incomprehensible to social scientists, historians, political analysts and sports commentators.

Bishen Singh Bedi said, this is a great day for cricket. Today I recognize that Murali's 800 wickets were all genuine. He wrote to the ICC that Murali's wicket count should be recognized as 900 because there were at least that many batsmen out run out, attempting an impossible run to get to the non-strikers end. If there is any bowler who deserves to be credited with even run outs it is Murali.

In the world above Douglas Jardine invited Sir Don Bradman for dinner and apologized for Bodyline

The Mahatma and Quaid-e-Azam met to develop a plan for peace between India and Pakistan

Even in lands unblessed with cricket the echoes were loud and clear

Gaddafi distributed his fair skinned blonde mistresses amongst the homeless across Lybia. The rest he released unconditionally.

Rebublicans in the US said they are willing to consider the possibility that Global Warming is real if Obama can produce a valid birth certificate.

Thomas Friedman who was in India for his new book, "The world is a Flat pitch" and happened to witness the speech first hand said, "God is Indian and he is not Sachin Tendulkar".

He still lives...

and so shall Test Cricket