If Sachin Tendulkar were the curator at Eden Gardens

If Sachin Tendulkar were the curator at Eden Gardens, how would he respond to Mahendra Singh Dhoni's suicidal request to deliver a spinning track for the 3rd Test...

1. No one can tell me what type of pitch I should make
2. I will let my pitch do the talking
3. I need a month to spend time with my family (Roger Federer)
4. The day I feel like making a spinning track, I will
5. All pitches are the same, the turn and spin is created by the media.
6. All of the above
7. None of the above